Inherited Flaws

We know the flaws of our parents. The flaws that we may now possess. The flaws that we sometimes use as explanations for our character.

A few explanations we may have about our character provided by the behavior of our parents:

-Poor money management

-Anger issues

-Suppressing our feelings

So now that we’ve listed a few what can we do to actively combat them?

Poor money management?

Seek a financial advisor or if that is not feasible for you, download a budget tracker app.

Anger issues?

Take up kickboxing, yoga, go to the spa or get a therapist.

Suppressing our feelings…

Now I can go deeper on this. I know first hand what this feels like from experiencing it from others and then realizing I, too, do the same.

I’ve always had a lot of feelings but I realized in my household we did not share them as often. I’m sure they would have been well received but that’s just not what I learned growing up. Add on to that me having an accommodating, to other’s needs, lifestyle…I left little room for myself to feel the need to share.

In my adult years, I’ve learned this is not okay. My partners wanted me to share, my friends were waiting on me to share, my family calls me secretive.

Acknowledging the problem is the first step. And I was there. Then I met someone who knew me but didn’t know me well enough to understand the things I was willing to share and the things I wasn’t. She didn’t know of my inhibitions. She didn’t know to tiptoe around them. Or maybe she didn’t care. Through hanging out with her and by her sharing her personal life I grew to appreciate her asking the hard questions, even if I didn’t answer them fully.

Taking time to reflect on my feelings is my favorite method. But that alone does not get to the bottom of that. And how can I urge someone else to share their feelings if I don’t reciprocate…I no longer want to be that type of friend.

Suppressing our feelings?

I’ve looked up therapists (though I still haven’t gone) and I’ve looked up therapy podcasts and articles.

Now, I alone, can not help my situation. I know there are people out there skilled in the areas that I struggle with and I’m willing to give them a chance to help me. And our parents, let’s look to help them as well. Not from a place of righteousness, anger, or resentment. Because it all comes down to be being better and it helps if we do it together.

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Did this moment resonate with you?

What are some of your characteristics that you blame your parents for?

Which moment would you like me to explore deeper?